When you have two girls people always ask if you are going to “try for a boy” but there is a funny thing that happens when you have your 3rd girl. People stop asking. No one expects that you will keep having kids. It is perfectly acceptable to have the “consolation prize” third baby if you didn’t get the perfect boy/girl combination with your first two. But after that give up. And heaven forbid that you might actually WANT all girls or all boys. And judging by the reactions I see others getting there is a consensus that you shouldn’t WANT more than 3 kids obviously.
I always wanted a lot of kids. We had one and knew we wanted another. We started trying right away for baby #2. Our second daughter is 18 months younger than our oldest. Because my first was still a baby, I didn’t get the full experience of being a parent of one. Now looking back I will say, I probably would be a good parent to one, but only now that I have 3. I realize what it takes to parent 3 and could use those skills with one easily. Only managing one of their issues without having anyone else to worry about would be easier.
But if that was all I knew, I would be equally as stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted as I am now. It is much like before you were a parent, you had no idea what it really meant to love so much, be so tired, be so busy, to juggle schedules. But once you have kids and look back at the time you said you were “so tired” and you think “Oh! 21-year-old me, you have no idea”
The same is true for kids. My kids are high needs. My oldest has ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD), My middle has SPD and severe Asthma, my youngest already has severe Asthma and an egg allergy. The oldest two fight constantly, I am convinced they hate each other. It is hectic. It is crazy at my house. It is loud. And I love it. I hope that they appreciate each other when they are older. Because as an only child, it can be lonely. Sometimes it seems like I am drowning and some might take that as a sign that you should be done having kids, but I am not convinced.
We now have 3 and I don’t believe we are done yet. I hear people say “when you are done, you know” But I don’t feel that way, so we probably aren’t done. I have faith that if we are lucky enough to add more to our unruly bunch that we will still be living in chaos, we still won’t feel like we have it all together, and our hearts will be that much more full of love and joy because of it.
Did you know when you were done?